just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I party with great urgency now.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize