Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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