jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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