I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Randomize