Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
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The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
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Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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