I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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