If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize