kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
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I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
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Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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