What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i barfeds in our rink
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
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It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
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Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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