I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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