Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
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Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
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I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
its liver damage thursday
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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