all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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