He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
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As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
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Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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