The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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