I'm really into asian looking animals
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize