I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize