If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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