and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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