even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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