Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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