He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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