can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
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