I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize