Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize