I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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