he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
why is half of my head shaved?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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