Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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