i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize