eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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