Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
soo... how was my night?
He did a backflip because drugs
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