..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Define "chronic" masturbator.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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