I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is underappreciated
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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