haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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