Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize