I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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