With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
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I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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