anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
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I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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