What a fucking waste of an outfit
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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