man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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