at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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