Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
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how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
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the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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