I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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