i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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