the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
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He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
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I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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