You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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