Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
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