Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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