my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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