And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
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i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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