I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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